The Pros And Cons Of Self Matching
So you want to self match? Cool. No problem. There are definitely pros to self matching. In fact, we’ve had a couple of people who work for our agency (like Amber, our MT Intake Coordinator and Amanda, our Bright Futures Families Business Manager) who have personally have self matched as a gestational surrogate themselves and have had a good experience with it. Are there cons? Of course. There are pros AND cons to everything. Our goal is to present you with both viewpoints to allow you to make an informed decision. So, here we go.
Pros of Self-Matching
Saving Intended Parents Money
This is the biggest advantage of self matching. Who doesn’t want to save money? Especially for the intended parents who have already been through so much trying to have a baby and have most likely spent so much money on infertility treatments. Self matching saves the intended parents the agency fee, which is a bonus. Some people want to cut out the “middle man.” This may especially be the case if a gestational carrier is helping a family member or close friend.
Cons of Self-Matching
Dealing with Conflict On Your Own
When you self match and don’t use an agency, unfortunately, you may have to deal with conflict and confrontations (if any arise) on your own. That’s never fun. An agency can be a mediator, and while you do pay a fee for that, it’s helpful to have that third party to help handle uncomfortable situations so you don’t have to.
Handling Paperwork and Appointments
Yes, lots of appointments, lots of paperwork, lots of moving pieces to this surrogacy puzzle. And if you self match, it is on you to make sure the train keeps a movin’. So, another downside of self matching. Or maybe you’re really organized and you love project managing complicated processes. That’s cool, too!
Notes of Importance
Even if self-matching, these things are very important:
Each Party – IPs and GC must have their own attorney (one of the attorneys must be licensed in the state in which the baby will be born) – A good lawyer would NEVER allow either party to not have their own representation.
Baby needs to be born in a state in which IPs can legally be named the parents (through a pre-birth order or other appropriate legal documents). Here is a map about laws and surrogacy friendly states.
Escrow/expense account should be established for any cost reimbursement. The surrogate should never have to ask or wait for money; most lawyers will require this.
Health insurance review – the surrogate’s insurance should be surrogate friendly and not have a lien or exclusionary clause; or if it does, other arrangements are made for coverage.
So, it’s really up to you to weigh the pros and cons of self matching to decide the best decision for you. We can be here for you to offer concierge services if you do decide to self match. Or if you want to work with an agency, may we so boldly suggest New England Surrogacy!