Deciding Between Adoption and Surrogacy
As children, we all dream of what it will be like as we grow up. Many times, that dream includes children; becoming a mom or a dad. Whether you are suffering from infertility or do not have all necessary pieces, today’s technology impressively expands the options for you. Due to technology, a major question people now often face is: Adoption vs Biological.
According to Adoption Network, “Of the over 400,000 children in foster care in the U.S., 114,556 cannot be returned to their families and are waiting to be adopted.” That does not include international or infant births! The feeling of delight, and elation when you adopt your child can’t be matched. Conversely, attempting to adopt can sometimes lead to bittersweet heartache because the mother can change her mind, or the child you are fostering may be reunited with their family (yay for their happy being happy and whole, though!) Adoption and fostering is a fantastic option to give a child a home, fortunately it is no longer your only option.
Having a biological child is now a much more feasible possibility through IVF and the use of a gestational carrier. A gestational carrier merely acts as a “babysitter” for your embryos and at the end of the process, your sweet baby comes home with you!
Here are three things to consider when you are looking at starting a family through adoption or surrogacy:
The cost of adoption can vary widely due to agency fees, International fees, age of the child being adopted, legal, travel, and so much more. The average the cost for adoption is $43,000, depending on the many variables.
Surrogacy costs $130,000 on average. Again, that average can change based on the variables, such as agency vs independent, travel, legal, needing egg and/or sperm donor, medical costs of the gestational carrier and more.
I know what you are thinking that is an $87,000 difference and that is A LOT of money! However, we are talking about creating a little human who is part of you and typically came from your genetics. No matter how that little human is created, being a parent is never inexpensive;-). Additionally, your gestational carrier knew from the start that she was carrying your little bundle of joy specifically for you and is happy to hand the baby over (and skip the sleepless nights!), there is not the risk of her changing her mind.
It is very difficult to give a timeframe, even an average, as the variables are numerous! Just a few for adoption are: agency requirements, how far along the birth mother is, how specific or flexible you are on your preferences, how specific and flexible the birth mother is on *her* preferences, and the list goes on.
Surrogacy variables include waitlist for Gestational Carriers, birth control, embryos created or not, clinic requirements, insurance issues and many more.
In a perfect world in either situation you are likely looking at more than a year.
Sounding like a broken record here… but the variables are numerous and a lot can depend on which state or country the process will happen in. Always consult with a legal expert before starting either process in the state or county this process will happen in. Something that is amazing about surrogacy and using a gestational carrier, is that typically the child is genetically related to the intended parents and, depending on the state where the gestational carrier gives birth, their names go directly on the birth certificate! We all hear those horror stories, but in reality those are rare when using a gestational carrier. Fertility clinics and gestational carriers are typically very cautious about this process and making sure that the process is not disrupted in any way. Gestational carriers choose to give this incredible gift and are aware from the beginning the child is not theirs, therefore they are not giving up anything, only giving it back to its parents.
Adoption on the other hand allows the birth mother can change her mind and decide to keep the baby.
No matter how you choose to accomplish your dream of a family, it will be amazing! With both adoption and gestational surrogacy there are many steps and legalities that need to take place, we always recommend using an agency and a lawyer with experience in either area. New England Surrogacy is here to answer any questions you may have. Reach out to us today.